What do you think about this sonnet i wrote for english class ?

When a radiant sun sets over a glistening lavender bay,

Or a tiny baby robin takes its first flight during a magical spring hour,

What words come to mind, what grander message can one possibly convey?

For beauty is by far the most wondrous pleasure this world has to offer.



It takes its presence in every object and every being on this land,

From the most marvelous and kingly palaces to a delicate blossoming yellow daisy.

Beauty has no definite shape nor figure, as I have come to understand,

It all depends on how pure one’s mind and how deep his soul can see.



Thus, the brilliance of such beauty is without a doubt unrivaled in extent,

For how can one possibly compare the magnificence of a priceless Greek statue,

To the breath-taking elegance of a simple red rose left in its element.

For beauty should never be measured as many wrongfully do.



The uniqueness of said beauty has limitless achieve,

So open your eyes and acknowledge what others have failed to perceive.

What do you think about this sonnet i wrote for english class ?
Honestly, it sounds a bit choppy.
Reply:A good effort. You have a gift keep at it.
Reply:It's gorgeous.
Reply:Nature has touched you and that comes through in your poem. Indeed there is a depth to the soul from which beauty and wisdom spring. I found a contradiction, however. You say that beauty can't be compared and yet a statue can't be compared with rose, you are comparing. Keep up the effort.
Reply:Well done.
Reply:I like it a lot!



=]